Everyone feels that they’re genuine people and yet, when you watch yourself back on camera, you might find that we sometimes come across a more or less real.
So, what is it that has you come across natural and connected to your audience?
Today I will give you 2 tools in order to connect deeper with an unknown audience.
One is a mental -inner attitude, the other a practical “how to say it” tool .
Both tools come with the caveat that you need to be willing to let people get to know you.
This is not what every business leader has in mind when using the camera.
However, in the days of personal branding it is a very good way into people’s hearts and minds so how about challenging yourself on your willingness to “expose” who you are within reason and range?
Our big enemy in the way are shame and self-conciousness. Both start relatively early in life and love to creep up when we are feeling watched. And making a video means being watched eventually- so we might as well face this now.
The more shame you feel about yourself, the harder being authentic in front of the camera is going to be. So the inner work necessary consists of embracing the parts of ourselves we are not so happy with.
As a short cut- it really helps to differentiate between your role and idendity. You are not failing as a human being. You simply are. And making any mistake is part of the deal. In your role, you can make tons of mistakes, you’re learning, or not, and you can fail. But no matter how hard you do in your role, you are still intact as a human being.
Here is a simple mind-set tool that you can use to connect authentically with an audience.
To connect with your audience, step down from the presenter’s stance of, “Hey, me here and I’m going to show you.”
Soften your body and face and intentionally, inside your mind, invite people in. Think along the lines of “This is me with all my flaws and imperfections and beyond connecting to you, fellow human who uses the bathroom and farts in moments you’d rather not”
Go from B2B to H2H- Human to Human. One more time- this happens INSIDE your head.
The effect this has is visceral on screen. It makes your audience feel more ok and comfortable to watch you and we become curious about you. This lets defences down. What you don’t want is to come across like a used car sales man or Game show host. They don’t gain our trust. Becoming relatable as a human is what you want to connect and hold your viewer’s attention. Further more, this is how you start building the trust you need to become influential.
And here is a practical tool that gives an unknown audience the feeling they can trust you. Why? Because they are getting to know you. How? By revealing how you feel in the moment- something that requires trust and courage to share. You can do this deliberately on video without losing your professionalism- unless you are so old school you think feelings don’t belong into your profession.
In which case, welcome to 2019 and the digital age where you differentiate by being human = thinking, feeling and sensing.
In order to create deeper human connection, describe a feeling with detail of the physical experience that you are having.
Most people say: “I want to show you something,” but that doesn’t tell me much and remember your audience doesn’t care about what YOU want. They care about what THEY want.
So next option is to share a feeling: I am feeling excited. I really want to show you…
Now I get a little experience of your inner world. That usually creates a sense of curiosity. We love when people give themselves away a little.
If you say “I really want to show you this- actually I am feeling a lot of energy moving in body especially my stomach, I can feel the slight worry that I might disconnect because I just have so much energy that just wants to go whoosh in my head. I’m breathing now. Fact is I cannot wait to reveal my latest….”
It gives you more of an experience of me. Yes I am of the more excitable type who can run away with the fairies but she knows it and can laugh at it to bring it back to earth.
Therefore your audience feels they are getting to know you. They can start to relate.
Let’s say you are approaching a sensitive topic. Rather than saying: this is a little…well…anyway…-
I’m suggesting describing of what that feels like to you: “I’m feeling nervous in my body because this topic feels vulnerable. But it’s so close to my heart right now I’m willing to risk losing some approval and to be connecting with you on a deeper level”
If you feel this is too much, too California, too tree-huggy- just take a bite of the apple and try to add a little to your presentation. Go from: In this video I’ll tell you how to avoid 3 top mistakes to
My name is… and I’m tired of seeing businesses do mistakes that cost them millions and could be avoided if only they knew the 3 top points to look out for when outsourcing accounting.
Add the human touch, I dare you and see for yourself- your audience will feel more engaged and close to you-
If you’re someone who just wants to dish out the tips 1, 2, 3, then this is not for you. But if you’re interested in building human relationships whilst using the camera, this will be a tool that will drastically uplevel the depth of engagement with your audience.